Monday, July 18, 2011


.i've. been thinking about how i can do more. do more good. do more loving. just do more in general. i'm amazed at how some organizations like toms shoes gets americans to purchase shoes and now sun glasses all in the name of helping. however i feel that some of the "good" is lost in translation because we are getting after we give..or rather we get then we give. there is also a non-prof called rosa loves which tells us of heart breaking stories of loss and devastation all so we buy a t-shirt to help. or a more well known non-prof to write love on her arms where you can support the movement, or cause if you will, by purchasing a t-shirt to spread the message.

.now. don't get me wrong. i have purchased from two of the places listed above. i believe in doing good. in helping. but this has just got me thinking a little bit this morning. why can't i just do and not get. why can't i just give and not expect a hip t-shirt or snazzy sun glasses in the mail after my generous "donation"? why can't i just donate? give without strings..without expectations. consumerism is running rampant even in our charitable organizations. even if you search on google to find charitable organizations you usually always get a sticker, bookmark, book, t-shirt, etc all to show and tell others "look i gave to _______ and i got ______."

.guess. i have too high of standards for compassion or charity. i don't even live up to them in the least. i find myself always wanting something for my "generous" donation. i guess that's gotta be a change in my thinking of really what charity and helping is. i want to do it and not just get some t-shirt that says..look what i did. now..don't read that and hear that's what i think people who wear those items are out for. when i put on my to write love on her arms t-shirt (which i LOVE) i don't want people to see that i gave money to help. i want to help spread the message. my thought is why can't i just spread the message..without a trinket? just some food for thought.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011


.learning. curve is necessary for me on this little word. i kinda feel like i'm being thrown into this whole new thing of grace and what it really means. getting something you don't deserve. webster's dictionary defines grace as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification. interesting that they throw the word "divine" in there. this is a concept i don't really get. i can see it at some small points along the way but i know there are a ton more that i just miss. i walk right over the graces that i receive every day. i wish that i realized all the graces that i get every day. shoot. every minute. i've learned this new term "common grace". these are every day grace(s) that everyone gets because our God is good. like medicine, air, good doctors, etc. there is also another level of grace that God extends to his children. crazy right? we are so undeserving yet because he is good and he is love and does not act outside of that he lavishes his grace and mercy on us. amazing.

.i. guess that's why it's called amazing sweet the sound.

.my. heart needs to be more soft..more open to see the grace(s) that i get all around me. i want my heart to be soft to this. to be able to see it so clearly and quickly. this is grace in and of itself that God does this. that he loves us so that we get to see him. we get to experience him. oh how self-entitled i can be to feel that i deserve it..because i so don't.

.i. want grace filled eyes that can see it more and more.