Tuesday, June 28, 2011

.just.jump.

.but. i don't want to. like a two year old that doesn't want to leave the play place at said fast food joints i don't want to do what i'm being asked to do. became so obvious to me last night that "all" i need to do is jump in. that's it. ready. set. go.

.or. not.

.you. see..i'm at a crossroads in life right now. and much like a little kid not trusting that it probably is a good idea to go wash your hands after playing in some public indoor play place. nasty. i don't want to do what is best for me.

.can. i just say..it's a really good thing that i don't have the ability to drive right now.

.ok. done with side notes.  all this to say. i want to do what i want to do when i want to do it. yuck right?! i don't want to even think that way. my thoughts shouldn't be that. things should be different right? yes. the answer is yes. but i have to choose for things to be different. i have to step into the difference and that's only going to come from a soft place..and soft places..for me..only come from God. but apparently i've just turned into "mush" or a "softie" as a dear friend called me. eh ehmm. i want to be able to look back in six months..a year..and see a difference in me. in my actions. in my thoughts. i want to not be so selfish in my thinking or my actions. like my "ghetto" bible says.."don't be selfish.."

i don't particularly want to really "walk" through the yuck to get me to the place that i can eventually look back though. i just want to magically arrive there. yes. yes. i know. all things worth it in life you have to actually work for. oh but how i don't really want to. it's kind of about time though. so see. i'm at a crossroads. kind of like when paul was writing in romans about doing what he knows he shouldn't. that whole back and forth idea. good to know i'm in good company with these thoughts.

.meet you at the crossroads.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

.freak.out.

.yep. it's so freak out time. i'm itchin' in my own skin to just claim a piece of my independence back. at points this whole not driving thing is just easy peasy and it's actually fun. but man oh man..at other points it is so not fun at all. partly b/c i'm independent and partly b/c i just want to do what i wanna do. ugh.

.also. i've realized one really annoying trait that i've picked up in these past two months. i'm a side-seat driver. not a back seat..but a super annoying passenger seat driver. i am that person. i am the person who says green when the light turns green and turn here when "my" turn is coming up. how annoying is that?! i'm set on stopping this habit before it gets out of control. last night was one of the first nights i rode w/ the person who pointed it out and guess who sat on her hands the whole ride. yep. that's right yours truly. kept my mouth shut too. don't want to be that person.

.all. this said. i am planning a vacay. one where only i go. only i know where and when. top secret.

.bon.voyage.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

.fail.

.this. weekend i tried to be adventurous. i live about 3 miles away from target. that doesn't sound all that bad..however every one of those miles is uphill..both ways. my roommate was out of town for the weekend and i had exhausted all of my "self-entertainment" by 11:00am so i decided to try out walking. i started out on my little journey w/ my high tech device tracking my movement and estimating my time of arrival.

.not. a mile into my independent journey a white car cut into my path. i looked up suspiciously and saw a hand out the window waving at me jovially. i thought to myself "aw this person thinks he knows me..or he thinks i'm going to actually ride w/ him." as i got closer i was able to see that i actually knew this person..he's the husband of a good friend. he offered to give me a ride to my destination and i went with it.

.i. spent the next several hours perusing the aisles of such fine establishments such as target, bb&b, peir 1, and barnes. enjoying watching people and putting new bedding together. i have a secret love for pillows..and not the practical pillows..the ones that just make a bed/couch look nice. (which, btw, i found some amazing pillows and they look great!) around the end of me getting bored i realized that it may be difficult to walk 3 miles w/ rather large pillows. as i was "un shopping" i saw a friend of mine! she offered to give me a ride home! yay! check out that crazy provision! got to catch up w/ a friend i hadn't seen in a long time, got to purchase my rather amazing new pillows, and i seem to not be able to "run away".

.such. coolness but lil freaky that i see people i know walking down the street and in stores. not used to the "small" town feel. in a big city like new orleans you get to walk around anonymously but at the same time feel like family to everyone but here in the 'burg you can't go even a mile without seeing someone you know. the small town feel is growing on me..about time..i've now been in the 'burg (on and off) for about 6 years. (scary) but..there is something to be said about the culture of the new orleans people. i miss it. miss the smell of coffee w/ chicory..miss the sights of the "qu'ater" and the frozen cafe au laits. sigh. but this lil 'burg culture where "everybody knows your name" is kinda making me feel at home. "Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez"

.i.miss.nola.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

.nice.try.

.so. here's a fun story of some high school guys trying to move up in the world.

.at. s.bux with a dear friend of mine last night. going really deep about what's going on in both of our lives. the good the bad and the ugly for sure. how crazy it is how "fancy" we make our dis-belief in God..and how "pretty" we make our sin to be. well..at least that's what i do.

.moving on.

.as. our chat was winding down we were witness to some brave recent grads from a local high school try to engage some girls outside of s.bux. this is what happened:

.boy #1. "hey do i know you?"

.boy #2. "yea, i think i recognize you and your friend!"

.girl #1. "um..do you go to "insert college"?"

.boy #1. "yea..i actually just graduated."

.girl #1. "oh wow, what did you major in?"

.boy #1. "well we don't have majors at "insert high school". "

.girl #2. "so you just graduated from high school?!"

.boy #2. "yea..but that's like "insert college"."

.girl #2. *walks away w/ look of  "i can't believe this is really happening"

.boy #1. "so what are you majoring in? do you know "insert name drop"? he is a senior "at said college"."

.girl #1. "i'm a junior at "said college" and no i don't know him. i've gotta go" *abrupt walk away*

.boy #1 and #2. *left standing with ghoulish grins b/c they just tried to pick up college girls..yes they failed but they were smiling none the less.

.lesson. here is..graduating from high school is not the same as college. boys should learn the art of rejection and tact earlier then 18. girls should learn to just say no.

.t'was. entertaining however. kind of painful to watch but the boys didn't seem too hurt nor the girls to insulted. after they all went their separate ways an uproar of laughter happened w/ the other by-standers. apparently my friend and i were not the only ones who witnessed such events. it was the talk of the patio.

.rejection.