.heart stories.

.part. of me being obedient and starting to bring people into what God is doing..and has done in me..is me sharing what God did back in October 2011. i'm not one to look back on the past..but this is something that God started back almost five months ago now..but it has meaning to what i feel God doing in me currently. .deep. breath. .God. gave me a vision back in October. a vision to be a family to his children who didn't have one..or didn't have a good one. to become a foster parent here in the 'burg. at this point i have only told a small handful of my close friends what God was stirring in me and that i would be making preparations to take that step of obedience. i began praying for my next step..and that God would show me when it was time to move towards it. when he was going to make this vision a reality. at that time in October..and currently..i am living with a close friend and her family. (God story w/ this too!) so i have the ability to save some funds and

.that's. the question now.. .so.what?... .so. what do i do with all that God started? What do i take as my next step towards God? towards obedience? .this. blog was step number one. bringing people in on it. deeply in on it. that meant being able to write more. express more. being willing to share more. so for me that practically meant a new computer. i have been nursing this computer that was gifted to me when i was a senior in college. back in the day..about five years ago. it was a good computer while it lasted..but like any laptop..it is holding on by it's fingernails. for example it tells me every time i turn it on that i have put in a foreign battery and cannot recognize it and will not be able to charge. no use in arguing with my computer..but it's had the same battery since day one. .with. that said..i started sharing that buying a computer..and a good one..is my next step. to bring others into this God story. to have it be their story too. each one of you w

.day.four.friday. .last.day at House of Hope. .a. marathon day to end the week with for sure. two cell group visits..teaching a cooking/baking class at HoH..two more cell group visits (which we missed one..but got to hear stories)..saying goodbye to the girls at HoH..and lunch and dinner squeezed in there at some point. i was glad that the day was busy. wanted to experience everything before we headed out the next day. .bright. and early we arrived at a small church. balloons and streamers decorated the small building. we piled out of the van and into plastic lawn chair seats. we sat amongst the cell group members. each with their own story that i wish we had time to hear. Shea taught a lesson from Exodus about how God had done amazing things for his people..but some of those people stayed in captivity. God wants full and total freedom for his children. hearing this teaching and then looking back at what God had done in just a few days time made this Truth come alive to me yet ag

.day.three.thursday. .this. day started with me being down. discouraged. and just feeling like i should hide. pull away and not get involved..not jump in. this is my normal battle i fight here in the 'burg. not pulling away because i am too vulnerable. i get freaked out sometimes that i have been too open..let someone in too close..and due to fear of getting hurt or fear of them leaving i run. i leave first. i hurt them first. i have been walking through this with Jesus and close friends over the past eight or so months. this is nothing new for me. what was new is that i was in Nica. i wasn't in the 'burg. where i knew my next steps to take. bring people in on how i was feeling my walls come up. push through it. move into my friendships when that is the absolute last thing i want to do. when i push through those thoughts/feelings that's when God shows up big time..ever so faithful to teach me what being a part of his family looks like. .i. expressed to the team th

.day.two.wednesday. .first. day of the month. ready to go. ready to jump out and hit the ground running. i wasn't expecting to feel this way..was glad i did though. on the agenda for today was to build relationships with the women and the children. to intentionally have conversations with them about their story. their experience or relationship with God. where they were in their journey with or to Jesus. we also were going to paint a mural on one of the walls of the dorm for the girls. i was heading up the "creative team". one of the ladies, Mindy, had shown me an idea she had for the mural and explained what she was thinking. it was a rendering of some thorns and vines twisting all together and then sprouting from them were vines of growth..new and fresh. i loved that idea. we then discussed which verse we could use to go along with God resucing and healing brokenness. i had picked out a few verses that stuck out to me the week before. i read the first three..and on on

.this. is a story of how much God loves us and wants us to change for his glory. i just got back from a six day journey into the depths of God's heart. i want to sit down and tell everyone my experience..look into their eyes..help them to understand the changes that God did and is doing in me because of six tiny days. this will be a six part journey. please fasten your seat belts and don't worry you won't need any of the emergency exits. .day.one. tuesday. .normally this is a dreaded day for me. it is a "marker" day..associated with abuse and pain. i have never really been a fan of this day. my birthday. i was lovingly woken up..at 5:00am..by Christy leaning over my bed to wish me a happy birthday. then several others throughout the morning showering their love on me..and me allowing them to do so. key word..allowing. .so. here we are. thirteen american girls..ten of which have never been to Nicaragua, much less the House of Hope . some are chomping at the b