Saturday, March 24, 2012


.here. is the fun part where we all get to see God provide and work by using his a part of what he is doing.

.my. goal for the trip is to raise right around $4,500. this includes airfare to and from, living expenses while there as well as emergency funds for anything that may come up.  feel free to click here to open up the online giving page. this will open up a new window so you can keep reading if you'd like. :)

.as. the days are slowly ticking by i am realizing that they are going to start flying by and i'm going to be wondering where March went..where April went..and where May went. i have set a few goals to keep me focused for these next ten weeks. the main goal that i am constantly reminding myself of is "love people my friends and my family well right now. don't pull away. don't do self-protect mode. love only."

.those. that are closest to me know this journey of letting people in and allowing others deep into my life has been a rough one. lots of tears. lots of hard talks. BUT lots of growth. lots of deep meaningful relationships. not only relationships with others here..but my relationship with God. as i started this journey several months back i was focused on the here and now. i was seeing my trust..err..distrust in people and wanted to just start trusting. i saw my thoughts of where i do and don't belong in the friendships i had. i quickly realized that is NOT the focus that God wanted me to have.

                         he wanted me to focus on trusting him..loving him..belonging to him.

.as. that focus shifted i noticed i was then able to trust people. i was able to allow others in close. not without fault or bumps still..but starting to just do it without thinking about it. that was God working and doing that in me.

.this. is still a weak spot for me and one that has been intensified due to the upcoming move to Nicaragua. learning to walk this out on a new level. on a much deeper level. it's bringing up insecurities that i so do not want..but alas they are there. what to do with them. the battle of thoughts. it's a bit tiring if i'm honest. but i know how to fight this. i'm in the process of getting my old notebook out once again. to write the lies i am believing on one side of the page and God's truth on the other. i did this for several months when i was first starting to walk through this. i had that notebook with me everywhere. it was my security. it wasn't some good quotes or good thoughts to think on. it was truths..God's truths. ultimate and secure.

.with. all that said. i would appreciate your prayers as i am walking this out in obedience. not that i don't want to go to Nica..that's not the case..i do. it is going to be hard. probably harder than God is allowing me to realize at this point. i am going to need to be held up in prayer as i'm walking through not pulling away here..serving while there..and coming home.

.thank. you in advance for your prayers.

.on. a lighter note.

.i. had my first dream about living in Nica last night. i was walking on to campus at HoH and i saw one of the girls. the girl that i spoke about on the fourth day at HoH. she saw me and ran over into my arms. i began sharing "all" the spanish i had been learning. (i just the word all lightly.) we were discussing the colors and days of the week. i was communicating to her in spanish but i didn't know what i was saying. it was good to be back there even just in my dream. knowing that this is exactly where God wants me to be going. i am looking forward to loving and serving the women, girls, and staff at HoH.

.bring. it.

Monday, March 19, 2012


.so. here it is the big news you have all been waiting for....

.i've. posted a little something about it on Facebook this past weekend but here's the details of what i posted.

.i. am scheduled to be moving to nica for six months starting in June!

.not. a shock or surprise i'm sure to some people..but it is to me. which is weird because i was the one who applied for the internship. i went through the "next steps" that God was giving me. but alas i'm still surprised that i will be leaving the country for six months in just over two months.

.surprised. that in mid janurary i almost opted out of what God had for me in nicaragua!

.surprised. that just eight months ago i had what my friends and i like to call "the incident"..a small tango with my past..where i learned deeply about God's love and GRACE covering my life.

.surprised. that i've only been walking with God for about a year and a half..but i can't recognize myself because of what he has done in me.

.surprised. that three years ago i was running as far away as i could from God.

.realizing. this truth..that God is redeeming my life right before my eyes..brings my heart even closer to his and having my roots grow down into him even more. as some of you know those verses in ephesians about our roots growing down deep into God's love has been my theme verse for the past three or so months. i am living proof that God's word is alive and active. it's happening. i've got "roots" and they are going way down deep!

.so. next steps for now..

.i've. informed my supervisor at work just today about the big news..and she wasn't surprised either. (why am i the only one surprised?) so it's officially public and out of the bag so to speak. i've got a ton to do between now and June 5th. i've even counted my wednesdays b/c that's when my small group meets at Blueridge. i've got a total of 11 wednesdays left including tomorrow.

.step. one buy plane ticket! the cost of flights alone will be around the $1000 range (that's the high end).

.step. two start raising support. TWO types of support are needed. one funding monetarily. that's a given. two is prayer support. praying now. praying while i'm there. praying upon return. pray! someone had a wonderful idea in this area. to have people be committed to pray for me each day i am gone..i'm brainstorming with this idea and will come up with some ways you can be involved in this way!

.step. three learn spanish. i've got a computer program that i'm steadily plugging away at with trying to get as much spanish into my head as possible prior to leaving.

.step. four adios amigos!

.as. for now i've got a couple ideas on how to raise support as far as painting some pallets again and making bracelets to sell. all in all i will need to raise about $3,400-$4,000. if you feel led to give in this way let me know. please email me at or if you are local i'm easy to find. ;)

.deep. breath.


.so. excited and humbled to get to serve God in this way. i'm super excited to be able to bring you along with me as well.

.let's go.