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.big.family.

.bigger.healing.



.I. feel so full-up..and for now let's just say that's a word ok?



.Right. now thinking about how to sum up what this past week was for me is a little overwhelming..humbling..happy..sad..joyful..etc. God has just been GOOD. No words really to describe what it's like to be in community with my family again...to serve shoulder to shoulder with them..to share what God is doing in us..just to go deep and love each other and God well.



.For. me this week was really neat for me personally just to see some changes in me or in my thinking that God has been doing over the past two months. Not really being able to see or feel the changes because I've just been taking those steps towards God..but being with my Jesus family for two weeks them seeing the changes and me seeing myself be different with them in ways that only God can do! Was neat to experience..and live out..some major things that God is doing in me and ultimately through me.



.And. that's loving others the way I want to and the way God wants me to love his people.



.For. me it's always been this inner struggle of wanting to love others..wanting to be the first to give hugs and just love on someone..and then wanting to stay "safe" and just wait until I know the person before I express any love to them. I know that this inner battle is a direct result of my past..and another level of healing that God has been nudging me towards..before Nica. During these past two months he's been doing a little more than nudging. :) First off..there are 24 girls that live about 10 feet away from my front door that you can't help but hug and kiss a million times. Then there are 14 women now..yay God!..that desperately need love and unconditional acceptance. Then there is Oscar and Velma who are becoming my Nica family. Not to mention that I am living in Central America..which like any other Hispanic culture..touch and physical affection is just what you do. I mean you greet total strangers with a kiss and a hug!



.This. is what God is doing in me..and I got to step into loving my American Jesus family in the way I've always wanted to. Feeling the changes in my heart and seeing them played out as there were people on each of the teams..guys and gals..that I either knew really well or didn't know at all..they all got a huge hug from me. I know this may not seem like a big thing to you..but for me..it's huge. Huge to just be free to express how I feel with God's love inside. Seeing healing lived out..and loving it..also knowing that God is going to keep doing this while I'm here. He is just that good..and kind..to his children.

.healing.



.On. to more important and fun House of Hope news..



.We. now have 14 women living in our residential program! Every house on campus is almost full..yay God! During the first week of Blueridge's team there were two young teens (one who is pregnant) that moved in and a third moved in this past week with her 1.5 year old son. It's amazing to be a part of the daily happenings here on campus. To see the women when they first move in. To see the other women and the girls all pitch in helping her set up her house. Such community. The mornings are no longer "quiet" on my side of campus..which I don't mind at all..most days. :) I love love love living right beside the women..living like they live..just knee deep in doing life with them..as much as possible anyways.



.I. see it as such an honor and a privilege to be able to love on these girls and women. Learning how to die to what Ash wants to do..and just doing exactly what God is whispering for me to do. He's the one who is loving the women through me..He's the one loving the girls through me..it's all him.



Look at what God has done!

Look at what God is doing!

.Feeling. all full of encouragement and love..and fruit roll ups..I know that I can and will be able to love these precious ones better than I ever thought imaginable. Knowing that the rest of my time here will be hard to say the least..but also wanting to squeeze every single opportunity out of each day. Thank you my Jesus family for your prayers and support..because of that I get to love these beautiful people even
more!



"Now to him who is able to immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all the generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph. 3:20-21






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.loss.

I'm not a writer.
(Don't judge my grammar/spelling, I do what I want.) :)
I'm not a blogger.
I am a sharer. (If that's a word.)
I shared my journey through living in Nicaragua.
I shared bits and pieces here and there as life unfolded post Nicaragua.

This post is coming from something deep. Something that is deep in my heart and has been a major part of what God has been teaching me through my year and a half back in the States.

Loss. {def. : be deprived of cease to have or retain.}

What is loss?

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"I lost my car keys."
"I lost my teddy bear."
"I lost my glasses."
"I lost my grandmother."
"I lost my home."
"I lost my wife/husband."
"I lost my child."
"I lost my childhood."
"I lost my friend."
"I lost my ________."

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