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.ouch. doesn’t really begin to describe this past week.

.this. week started with one woman leaving with her four month old daughter early in the morning. She was here at HOH for about a week and a half. Then in the evening when all of the business of dinner and homework was going on two girls packed up their belongings and ran away.

.heartbroken. is a better way to explain how I felt when we discovered they had left.

.one. girl had been here maybe a week and a few days. She has lived here at HOH in the dorm off and on and it is typical for her to come and go sadly. She was a major influence of the second girl leaving. The second girl is one of the girls I have become the most closest too. I shared my story with her. She is the one I wrote about a few weeks ago…her story we are likely to never forget. Over the past several weeks there was a change in her…a GOOD change! She actually wanted to go to school. She was getting excited about school projects and proud of herself when she received a good score. She was letting the other intern get close to her emotionally as well. She was making HUGE steps in healing and just becoming a beautiful young lady.

.that’s. how satan works. He is here to “steal, kill and destroy..” and I saw that more clearly than I have in a long time Monday night when I found out those two girls ran away. He hates us who follow Christ. He hates us and what we are doing. He is angry that she was changing. He is out to destroy whatever he can.

.i. can’t explain how deeply I hurt for those girls and the sucker punch to the stomach feeling I had that night. Feeling God’s ache for them that they chose the “freedom” of the streets over the freedom at HOH and the ultimate freedom he offers them both through relationship with him.

.the. next morning was met with an equal amount of pain as another girl who has been here for just about a year was picked up by her grandmother to go home. She too no longer wanted to be living here.

.through. all of the ups and now downs of HOH…God is good. He is always good and always in control even though it hurts and it pains me to see these girls and women run away. 

.my. affections for him have grown just in these past few days of the unsettledness here at HOH. His comfort and fatherly-ness (I just made that word up) has been more present than I think I have experienced yet here at HOH. I’m getting to experience God as my father…the father that knows best…the good father…and for that I am grateful beyond measure. 

.with. all of the heavy stuff said...

.God. is moving and working among the women here. It's been really neat to see some of the new women building and grown relationships among the women who have been here for some time. Amazing to see the women reaching out to one another in ways they could only do with God leading them. 

.And. on a super least I think it's humorous...I have had some interesting health experiences so far here in Nica. I've had worms. No worries...just took some meds. I've had lice...and probably will have it again...only a matter of hatching time. Annnnnd...drum roll please...I have a freshly hatched colony of scabies. How fun is that?! I actually do think it's's all part of the adventure of living in Nica and loving on my family here. I get these fun things from close contact from my girls here. Just evidence of loving on them. :) 

.live. well friends. Run hard after Him. 

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames  
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
Hillsong United "Desert Song" 


  1. Ash, it's so good to read your posts. My heart aches with yours too! I think of you often and pray for you! I'm so proud of you for walking in what God is calling you to. :)-Love,Mindy


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I'm not a writer.
(Don't judge my grammar/spelling, I do what I want.) :)
I'm not a blogger.
I am a sharer. (If that's a word.)
I shared my journey through living in Nicaragua.
I shared bits and pieces here and there as life unfolded post Nicaragua.

This post is coming from something deep. Something that is deep in my heart and has been a major part of what God has been teaching me through my year and a half back in the States.

Loss. {def. : be deprived of cease to have or retain.}

What is loss?

Loss can take on many different faces through our lives.
"I lost my car keys."
"I lost my teddy bear."
"I lost my glasses."
"I lost my grandmother."
"I lost my home."
"I lost my wife/husband."
"I lost my child."
"I lost my childhood."
"I lost my friend."
"I lost my ________."

So many different emotions arise as I read those statements. Some bring up a lightness in helping a young child find their t…